Have you been dreaming about an ex, especially one with whom you are no longer in contact?
It’s not usual for me to have these dreams, but the other night I had a dream where I went to an ex’s art exhibition, and I wondered what that meant. What did dreaming about this person symbolize?
It turns out that it’s not unusual to dream about an old partner, especially if they were your first love or a significant step in your life.
If you’ve had similar dreams where you keep dreaming about this person, even though you no longer talk to them, what does that signify, and does it mean you should contact them?
What Does It Mean If You Dream About An Ex You Don’t Talk To Anymore
By dreaming about an ex you no longer talk to, our mind is prompting us to acknowledge something we are trying to avoid. It’s common to dream about people, especially those with whom we had intense relationships. For better or worse, they have significance in our subconscious.
Here are some of the most significant reasons why you might be dreaming about that long-gone ex:
1. You Need to Heal
If your relationship with your ex was abusive, it could have left long-lasting psychological scars. However, perhaps something has happened in your life that has reawakened those old hurts. Perhaps someone behaved similarly or said something triggering that your ex used to say to you.
Just like when you dream about someone who did you wrong, this dream could be your brain gently encouraging you to find a way to heal—perhaps through therapy or talking to someone you trust.
2. You Still Have Feelings For Them
Let’s not kid ourselves… Even when we hate someone, there’s sometimes a seed of our old love still in there. After all, hate is the flip side of love, and at one time, you must have felt good emotions about your ex.
Many people who end long-term relationships, which they are still upset over, have recurring dreams about the good times they had with their exes. This dream doesn’t mean you should reach out and make contact, but it can be a sign you need to face why the relationship ended and accept it.
3. You’re in a New Relationship
Sometimes when we go into a new relationship, we haul along all the baggage of the old. As you enter a new relationship, dreaming about an ex you don’t talk to anymore may signal that you need to resolve issues.
It could be that your new partner displays behavior that reminds you of your ex, and your brain is raising warning signals. Your dreaming subconscious has spotted things your conscious mind is trying to ignore.
Pay attention to any negative patterns that recur in your love life.
4. You Want to be In a Relationship
Few people enjoy being lonely. But, if it’s been ages since you were in a relationship, your dreams may replay those ‘good old days’ with an ex to satisfy a craving.
Sometimes our dreams are a form of wish-fulfillment, and we dream about something we hope we can have again.
The wish fulfillment theory of dreaming was first proposed by Sigmund Freud – he said that dream interpretation was a necessary part of understanding why a wish manifests itself.
Most of us like to feel connected, and a loving romantic relationship may be something you miss when you dream about an ex. It isn’t a sign to get back together with your ex, but simply your mind using the last relationship you had as a way to fill that need.
5. You Need to Face Yourself
Sometimes the dream isn’t really about your ex but yourself. People in dreams can symbolize aspects of your personality; the trick here is to work out what your mind is trying to tell you.
As Carl Jung said in his letters:
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.”
Ask yourself what inner conflicts you might be facing that would make you dream about your ex.
6. Dreaming About An Ex Who Hurt You
If we don’t find a way to heal ourselves from emotional trauma, it isn’t easy to move on and trust new people in our lives. We might bury these traumas, but often we can’t hide from them in our sleep. That’s why it’s not unusual to have nightmares about an abusive ex.
If many unresolved issues are hanging over you from that old relationship, it can be an emotional barrier to the new one.
Humans often repeat destructive behavior, and if we are not ready to face our actions, our dreams might warn us about what will come.
What To Do If You Keep Having Dreams About An Ex You Don’t Talk To
Sometimes, our dreaming mind gently encourages us to take positive steps to help us overcome the person who hurt us. It’s difficult to heal if we don’t face our hurts.
By getting help, like therapy or trauma support, we can break the pattern of fear and begin to heal. Usually, once we have started to make positive progress towards healing from this abuse, our dreams are less likely to center around these abusive exes.
Dreaming Of Someone Who Left You
When you have dreams about someone you don’t talk to anymore, this can make you wonder if you should reach out and reestablish contact.
This yearning might be even more likely if you weren’t the one to end things. You might feel that if things had been different, there would still be a relationship. The dreams could be your mind working through how you could have made other choices and could make better ones in the future.
Separating from someone you loved—and perhaps still do—can be a trauma that causes recurring dreams. Sometimes these dreams can feel like you’re reenacting all the bad things that might have been the reason for someone to leave you and can make you feel as though you failed.
But it’s a good idea to look at these dreams as an impetus for making a clean break and letting go of that person.
Your attachment to them is not helping you. Dreaming of divorce or other relationship endings can symbolize that you must start a new adventure and leave this one behind.
Am I Still In Love With My Ex if I Dream About Them
Remember that simply because your dream of an ex doesn’t mean you’re still in love with them. Instead, sometimes your dreams are a way for your subconscious to connect with the intense emotions you felt when you were with that person.
Perhaps you need to find closure from a bad relationship or a way to heal from trauma.
In other cases, look at what that ex-lover might symbolize in your life and yourself. Perhaps they are pointing the way to something you hope to do or are urging you to get out of a bad situation.